The Shmorbes List - Dog Version

Updated: Sep 22, 2019

Heres to the successful dogs. Lots of abysmal birds who are overnight success stories, and business entrepreneurs get the majority of coverage in the media, but TheAverageDog (TAD) is different. Have you ever wondered who the richest dogs in the world are? Lets get you acquainted...


1.Scott Disick (AKA Scott Dog Pacino) - Drinking from the Dog Bowl Below

Estimated Net Worth ~$20 Million


Formerly the only person keeping it 100 on keeping up with kar-bird-agains, Scott loves to party .... as all dogs do. With an estimated net worth of ~$20 million, it's no wonder Scotty boy made it to the top of our list. Not all dogs get to drink from a silver bowl, but at-least this one does.


2. Stone Cold Steve Austin - Dogs Will Be Dogs

Estimated Net Worth ~$30 Million


Nobody has ever crushed more Coors Lattes to the face than the Stone Cold Stunner himself. Fun Fact, this dog got his name over a cup of tea. Allegedly, he was drinking a cup of tea with his ex-wife and she told him "you'd better drink your tea, before it gets stone cold." Thus , the STONE COLD STUNNER WAS BORN.


3.Danny Mcbride AKA KENNY FUCKING POWERS

Estimated Net Worth ~$25 Million


"You're fucking out" megastar , Danny Mcbride is one of America's most well known stars. This is one of the biggest dogs of all time American cinema. Mcbride, is a versatile comedian and actor that plays being a true blue collar citizen well.


4. Cardi B - One of the Realest Dogs in Hip Hop

Estimated Net Worth ~$12 Million ( I presume its much higher )


Cardi B, has invigorated the lane for strong independent woman who just don't give a fuck. Not only, does she combine all cultures in her music, she keeps it 400. Never backing down from any person or any challenge, she just gets it.

After paying an arm and a leg in tax dollars to the US Government and I'm sure NYC and New York State, the rap super star had this to say


"when you donate to a kid in a foreign country, they give you updates on what they're doing with your donation....I want updates on my tax money."


Like I said, she just fucking gets it.


5.Marshawn Lynch - "I'm Just Here So I Don't Get Fined"

Estimated Net Worth ~$30 Million


Raw and uncut, Marshawn Lynch is an extremely influential member of the dog society. Ever just feel like not doing something, but you show up to that job, or that friends birthday party , just to say "hey I'm fucking here asshole , now don't give me no shit." Well, thats how Marshawn Lynch felt at his superbowl interview when he had this to say, " I'm just here so I dont get fined."


6. 50 Cent - Im a need my money by Monday...

Estimated Net Worth ~ Rich As Fuck


50 Cent, or Curtis Jackson has transformed from rap superstar (G-unit). To entertainment mogul. With his show "Power" being a top rated show, he is sure to be raking in the dollars. However if thats not enough, he has turned to his constituent fellow rappers and entertainers and with open arms has decided to loan them money... with interest of course. Currently, Young Buck, Randall Emmet, Bow Wow , Rotimi and Biz Markie have all been victims of 50's loans.

The most well known quote from rapper 50 Cent in the past year is "Im a need my money by Monday."



7. Gerard Butler - "This Is Sparta"

300 Actor, Gerard Butler is a wild K9. Frequenting Nobu, Malibu he is often seen riding his Harley down PCH and ripping shots at Nobu. Butler, doesn't sugar coat anything, "The Truth Is Never Pretty" says Gerard.


8. Floyd Mayweather - The Money Team

Estimated Net Worth ~$560 Million


Floyd has never shied away from a fight. He's also never shied away from a check. Mayweather has always amazed the public on his money spending and money making abilities. Living life to its fullest, or barking to the loudest. The Money Team CEO is often criticized for living in excess. As the old adage says, "Dogs will be dogs."



8. Conor Mcgregor - Expert Shit Talker (Amateur Fighter)

Estimated Net Worth ~$120 Million


The Karate Kid of talking shit. The shit talking whisperer, call him what you want, this dog is an artist. If you have never seen him in action google "Conor Mcgregor talking shit".


Link to Conor's greatest hits


9. Jon Taffer - Taffer Tuesdays

"SHUT IT DOWN" Host of "Bar Rescue", and former night club mogul. Jon Taffer has a decorated resume for all things K9 entertainment. With enough passion for getting drunk blink, he wants the people to do it in comfort and style. His TV show "Bar Rescue" is dedicated to helping dive bar degenerates turn their bar into an a pristine dive bar for the local sailors.


Here he is , doing what he does best "SHUTTING IT DOWN"



10. Snoop Dogg - Dog Pound Gangsters

The original dog. Last but not least Snoop dee oh double gee. This dog grew up in Long Beach, CA and rapped his way to success. He has paired up with every known celebrity to man. Another top entertainer who just GETS IT. This dog loves smoking loud and rocking the crowd.


Thanks for reading, I will leave you all with this Snoop Dogg song.




-Diamond Bobby

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